.... Still Has That Great Review Taste

They've Spelt Whyline wrong

Skyline, hereafter known as Whyline, asks just that. Why? what is the point of this movie? So much so that when the credits started to roll I wasn't sure whether to punch the screen, be thankful I hadn't paid to watch it,  or contemplate building a time machine to stop myself from wasting an hour and a half of my life.

Normally when writing these reviews I've got to find away of telling you why a movie is terrible (and it is almost always terrible) without giving away any spoilers or telling the story for you. Well fortunately with Skyline that isn't a problem because this movie doesn't have one. This movie wants to be War of the Worlds so bad if it was a teenage boy it would have spunk-laden posters of H.G.Wells all over it's walls.

Skyline incorporates the one of a kind acting talents of Donald (still masturbates to scrubs) Faison and David (look at how tough I am) Zayas, I use term 'one of a kind' to mean that I pray they give up acting forever so I can return to my (overly cynical) life without the flashbacks from the post-traumatic stress caused by watching their 'acting'; especially you Faison, or did you spend all your Scrubs money on experimental anti-acting pills?  

This movie lacks even the most basic of film requirements in that it doesn't have a beginning or an end, just a middle, a very dull poorly acted middle. What's that Obi-wan? No story? I thought it was about aliens?... Well yes I'll give you that, the movie is definitely about aliens, as a matter of fact the movie may as well have just been ALIENS in bold  72pt font for the entire 94 minutes of running time.


Q: Why are the aliens here?
A: ALIENS

Q: What do the aliens want?
A: ALIENS

Q: What is something you shouldn't ever base an entire storyline around?
A: ALIENS






There, just saved you 94 minutes of your life.