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Guess who's back?

My face has finally gone back to it's regular shape and colour (more or less) so I'm back. It would have been sooner but, whilst recovering, my laptop decided to stop working and my bike refused to work; but then you know what they say about bad things coming in three? I think I'm due a good thing.

I did try updating my blog through my [very old beat down] phone but I was half way through writing a blog post using only predictive text when I got a phone call, which immediately deleted my progress. It is at this point I vowed to never do it again. Now as I have a lot of catching up with my followers blogs to do, I will keep this short and sweet (keeping in mind that most of my week was spent trolling my facebook friends out of boredom using my phone).

My Week in Brief:

March 1st - Got into a big debate with feminists [lesbians] about how the EU have now made it illegal for women to be charged less car insurance purely because they are statistically better drivers. Typical women, only wanting 'equal rights' when it suits them.

March 2nd - I got to miss my team Aston Villa (soccer team for US followers) get battered by Man City in the FA Cup. Not because I thought they were going to lose, rather because I spent the best part of 2 hours at a outdoor train station during a  -4'c British winter night because of train drivers going on strike.

March 3rd - Spend all day talking to my mates about just how boring our foreign minister's voice is and how it was almost hypnotic listening to him talk about the situation in Libya. If you think you know somebody with a more boring voice then YouTube William Hague and listen to how wrong you are.

March 5th - Left the house with all the ambition of playing football (soccer) but instead spent all day with my mates getting drunk and playing Xbox. I then systematically went through everyone of my FB friends depressing statuses to let them know just how much they suck for using facebook as a means to spread their passive aggression an suicidal tendencies.

March 6th - Declared war on the word 'Chillax'; who decided that the hybrid word for relaxing and chilling should be 'chillaxing'? I wasn't consulted on this decision, I propose we flip it and instead use the word 'relilling'. Let us stand up my brothers and sisters to end the tyrannical reign of chillax!

March 7th - Went to a dentist appointment but woke up with some wicked morning breath. I tried to help out my dentist by spending the best part of an hour gargling mouthwash and got a little bit drunk and had minty farts all day. My wife also set up the blog 'In Words' out of boredom so you should check it out.
  ...and the winner for 'Best Response To Me Being Battered With A Knuckleduster" goes to:

Gouyixia, with " +5 ATK, +2 DEX".



  1. sounds like a funny first of march

  2. I'm glad you're back and on the mend!

  3. Typical women, but also typical human beings. Doesn't everyone want things that happen to benefit them?

  4. I HATE that me and my GF have the Exact same car each yet my insurance is double her's. ALTHOUGH, I don't think her premium should go up just because the courts think it's fair. That's gonna up our household costs in general, and if I was in her shoes I'd be Ubor Mad.

    Imagine if you, as a guy, walked into a hair-dressers and they wouldn't offer you a trim for less than £20 because that's what the women pay therefore so must you.

  5. actually feminists just want equal rights between sexes... theyre not trying to get an advantage above men.

  6. Couldn't agree more with your musings on William Hague and the abortion of a word that is "Chillax."

    Incidentally, HOW is Hague even in office? Wasn't he one of the most unpopular Tory leaders of recent times? Hah...Tories, popular. Pfft.

  7. welcome back! seems like you had an amazing week :D

  8. femanists are all bulldyke lesbians

  9. Welcome back and the dentist sucks :(

  10. Thanks for all your 'welcome backs'.

    @Innovations - You're right, they already have the advantage over men and are doing nothing to correct it. If that would have been the other way round they'd have been on it like a tramp on chips; see @ScottD

    @Chuck - I know it sucks, to be fair they are going to try and drop your premium by 10% but after raising your GF's by 25% you will still be down 15%

    @Ottercation - Get out of my thoughts! :P

  11. Sounds like an interesting week lol. I think you're definately in for something good to happen now.

  12. You're back! Sounds fun. I'll be checking back soon!

  13. if we are gonna throw stats out there, women are worse drivers, getting in more accidents per million than men....

  14. Funny. Hague was leader of the Tories in the late 90's but never became Prime Minister after Labour annihilated them in the 2001 election. Now with Cameron in power we've got Mr Croak Throat as our Foreign Secretary!

  15. not sure if i would even want to see pictures of your face.