....but may cause sterility in rabbits

I thought I would stir things up this time and write a review about something that is fairly new and has received quite a bit of prestige in the media. Now this leaves me with two choices; the Black Swan or The King's Speech. One of these movies is about some spoilt bitch who is constantly whining about being unable to perform properly, and of course the other is the Black Swan. Black Swan it is then.

The Black Swan is perhaps the bleakest piece of film making I have seen in all my years, even including The Road. The movie itself is a drama loosely based around Swan Lake, a ballet by Russian composer Tchaikovsky. For those of you unfamiliar with it Swan Lake is about a Princess who gets turned into a white swan and she needs the love of a Prince to transform back, unfortunately for her however her sister, the black swan, just so happens to be a bit of a slag and steals the prince away from her, at which point the princess overcome with grief throws herself of a cliff, promptly killing herself.

Yeah I know, depressing right? Well the director, Darren Aronofsky thought it wasn't nearly depressing enough and threw in his own bleak twist, which I won't say for fear of ruining the story. Oh and blood, lots of blood.



Tchaikovsky facepalming from beyond the grave

Now [as usual] there are a few things that just really wind me up about this movie, the first of which being the sound track; there are only so many times anybody can be expected to sit down and listen to Swan Lake without actively seeking ways to deafen themselves, watching this movie gives me flashback of having to listen to Spice World on infinite repeat thanks to my musically inept little sister. The other thing I just could not stop thinking about was how the cameraman just could not sit the fuck still through the duration of this movie, every other scene is the camera panning across somebody or spinning around them to a point when I wasn't sure if I was depressed or just nauseous.

What I can say about this movie is that Natalie Portman plays her role very well, as does Mila Kunis and Winona Ryder, that being said I always thought of ballet as something that would be very hard to do which can't be the case if two (albeit good) actresses can pick it up that quickly. Saving the best till last I should also mention the lesbian sex scene which I guess can also be described auto-cunnilingus. *Plus five pervert points to anybody who knows what that is without Googling it.*



Overall, I'd say watch it, as long as you don't mind having the urge to dance around your apartment like a spastic for a few days after it.